At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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