After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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