i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
