I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
