i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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