he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
