the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize