somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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