you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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