Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
