i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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