Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You made out with two different species that night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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