Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
