I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
