some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
