My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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