Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
