I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
