i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
they're like a gay fantastic four
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am one with the molecules
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
