You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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