you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
