a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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