Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
