she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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