I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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