DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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