I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
