i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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