I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
