If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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