Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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