So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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