i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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