So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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