I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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