I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
operation have a gay friend backfired
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
