I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
