there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
