I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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