yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
