She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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