guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
