This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
don't judge my taste in strippers
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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