i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
