Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
