He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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