apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
