OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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