she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
