Christians are straight up FREAKS
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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