By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
