Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
