You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize