At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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