I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
