i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
