we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
