dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
