You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
