Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
