I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
