Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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