i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
