Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
