what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
