he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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