Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
