Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
