did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
