just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
