I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
