Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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